Dream Land
by flawlesspeasant
Summary: Ever since the summer of his sixteenth birthday, Joe has hated his long summer job at Dream Land Family Amusement Park. Now, fifteen years later since his last summer there, Joe comes back. With his newlywed wife, he recounts his very last summer at Dream Land. The summer that he will always remember, with the memories he's spent fifteen years dying to forget.
1. Let Me Tell You A Story

My breath catches in my throat and chokes me up before I can find the strength in my lungs to actually release it. With every step into further into the ruins of the place I once loved, the degenerated, once bright red brick path crunches under my feet. I grip her gloved hand and pull her closer so she doesn't become afraid. I'm not afraid of this place; I'd never be afraid of it. Sure it looks very different from the time I spent here, but if I close my eyes, I can still see it. I can still remember it in all its golden glory. Painstakingly, I run my hand along the decaying parts of what used to be a clean white fence. My lungs refuse to expand to allow anymore air inside them, so I blow out the breath I was already holding in. I watch it diffuse into the harsh, wintry air. I pull it off what used to be the fence and just keep looking around.

My exceptionally flawless, beautiful blonde haired wife holds my hand tight and rests her chin on my shoulder. Her small, slender fingers intertwine with mine and I feel the cold, metallic, sleek silver wedding band on her finger; still boasting its newness. It's been three months and I'm still getting used to the feeling of having the ring on my finger, let alone feeling it on hers. Marriage is a funny thing, you know. You say a couple meaningful words, give a speech about how you'll never let down the one you love, give a few reasons why you'll never let them down, exchange two rings and you don't belong to yourself anymore. When you're ready to commit, it's a beautiful feeling; a feeling I've only felt twice in my life before. If you're anything like me, I was ready to devote my life to the one I'd eventually call my life. It wasn't long before I realized that I'd never fully commit myself to her if I was still holding it in. I want to give myself to her for the rest of my life. In order to do so, I have to let go of my past demons. I guess that's why we ended up standing here, in the midst of the rubble, melted steel and rotted wood. "Why was it so important you come back here, honey? It's nothing more than a washed up old theme park…" Her breath is cool against my neck and her voice rings mellifluously in my ear. Funny that way, how the blistering cold weather can't stop the fact that I'm hot and perspiring underneath my layers, but her breath is cold and sends a chill down the back of my black button-up navy pea coat.

I continue look around in the remnants of this once amazing place; the place I found myself in. Tears form behind my eyes as they always do, but they still won't fall. I haven't cried in years, since the last time I saw her. It's not that I won't let myself cry, I just won't let myself break a promise. I let out another jagged breath and watch the air from my mouth come out again. I make note of where the Ferris wheel used to be, I used to run the game booths next to it. I can still smell the mouthwatering, fresh smell of corn dogs in the deep fryer at the concession stand. A smile tugs at my lips. I can still hear the deafening, sweet laughter of children, big and small, excited to trade in their tickets for the stuffed animals I rewarded them with. To my left, there was a rollercoaster called "Barry's BigDrop." Melanie used to run it, and she never was too fond of me. I still remember my little brother being too small to get on it, but I'd take him on anyway after hours. I turn to my right, and standing before me is the most painful memory of what used to be this park in my heyday. My chest constricts, begging me to let myself cry. I won't. The old wooden stage is still standing, though rotting; looking as if I stood on it it'd collapse. That stage is important to me, for so many reasons. "It wasn't this way when I worked here…" I grip my wife's hand and force the flashback from my head.

"Tell me about when you worked here." Elisabeth urges me out of my thoughts, braces her slightly protruding abdomen and bends down to pick up a very old park map. I'm surprised it's still intact, to be honest. The glossy photos of the park's main features are still crystal clear, some more than others. The front cover is a little washed out, I assume from the rain accumulated over the years. It gets cold here in San Antonio, but never cold enough for snow. It hasn't snowed since the winter of 2008. The winter after the summer of 2008; the summer I lost my mind and a small part of me. I still wonder how she's doing, and I still think she made the snow happen somehow. I like to think she got to see the snow again. "Were you an itty bitty teenager?" Lizzy's blonde hair catches on my shoulder as she flips through the park map book. I stay away from brunettes, for personal reasons.

I grimace slightly, showing my teeth in a gritting fashion. I've spent the last fifteen years trying to forget about the summer I spent working at Rowing Tidal, just to relive it by coming back. I'm surprising myself at how easily this is coming to me, though. I always thought that by coming back here, I was going to put myself back at my ultimate low again. I guess I was wrong, because I actually feel a sense of alleviation. "You really want to hear about the summer of 2008?" I fold the park map book up and shove it in my pocket. I walk over to the sturdiest looking part of the stage and sit down on the edge of it, rubbing the wood as if it's my baby or something. Lizzy holds her belly and sits down next to me. It's cold outside, but we're pretty bundled up out here. I just don't think telling her this story would mean the same thing if we were sitting in the car as opposed to right here, where it all went down. "Alright," I agree.

"I want to hear all about it, honey." She kisses my lips and turns her complete, focused, undivided attention to me. I'm not sure if she's prepared for what I'm about to tell her, but it'll make for an awesome story to tell our little boy someday. I'm not even sure if I, myself, am mentally, emotionally and physically prepared to tell her about this. But after all, she is my wife, and she DID ask me to tell her. I grip her hand tight, just to let her know that I love her with every ounce of my being. She smiles at me with her model-straight teeth and rests her head against my shoulder. "There has to be a reason you wanted to come back here, right?" She adjusts her coat zipper and crosses her legs as best as she can, mindful of her pregnant stomach. "What's the reason?"

I take a deep breath and clear my throat, ready to begin. Fifteen years since I've spoken of this. Fifteen years since I've spoken of this place, my first real job, the best summer of my life, the worst summer of my life, the summer that defined who I am today. Fifteen years since I've spoken of my co-workers, my old boss, my very best friends. Fifteen years since I've spoken of _her. _"I worked here in the summer of 2008, fifteen, almost sixteen years ago." I take my gloves off because my palms begin to sweat. "This used to be Dream Land Amusement and Waterpark. Dream Land is what we called it." I smile at the memory of who "we" used to be. "I used to run the game booths…" I point to the where the booths used to be. "I still remember the first day of the season… The park used to close in the winter and reopen in the summer. Every summer since I was sixteen, I worked here. But the summer I turned eighteen… it was different. The park went under new management, and lots of things changed…"

* * *

**2008.**

The date is June 15th, the first official day of "Park Season." To be totally honest, the first day of park season isn't as exciting to me anymore. Back when I was sixteen, I used to be so excited to go to work and spend five hours distributing baseballs, basketballs and ping pong balls to declare the next winner. Now, I know I'm speaking like being sixteen was decades ago when it was really only two years ago, but a lot can change in two years. A lot of growing up can occur in two years. Aside from my voice getting deeper, facial hair growing thicker and getting bigger down where it really counts, most of my growing up hasn't been physical. With the big 1-8 comes greater responsibility. Like no more little five hour baby shifts at work. I get to work the real deal, the real eight hour shifts. No more little baby half hour breaks like I used to get when I was underage. I get cut down to fifteen minutes. There are many other reasons why I'm not so excited about park season this year, but those are the main ones. The park doesn't really excite me anymore, and I'm guessing that's also a part of growing up.

If I could help it, I wouldn't even be working this summer. I just graduated from high school. This summer should be all about partying, celebrating and downright having fun. But ever since mom got laid off her job last year, pop hasn't been making nearly as much money as the two of them used to make cumulatively. So if I want to go to Texas A&M like I plan to this fall, saving up is a MUST. Quite honestly, I don't want to go to college. I'm expected to go, though. I graduated fifth in my class and I can go on a scholarship for baseball. I don't want to play ball in college. I'd rather just study and get my master's in chemical engineering, but I'd rather not argue with my parents about that. Even more so than I don't understand why I can't do what I want to do in college, I don't understand why my bubble-headed idiot of a little brother doesn't work too. He's sixteen, and mom and pop haven't been hounding him nearly as hard as they were hounding me at sixteen to get a job. Then again, being the first and only diabetic in the family really has its perks for Nick. Mom treats him like he's a fragile little baby. I swear I'm not jealous, I'm just saying.

Being out of school for the last two weeks, I've already had the time to settle into a regular sleeping-in pattern. I've already resigned myself to staying up until 5 a.m. and sleeping until at least 1 p.m. Because of this fact, it's needless to say when my alarm rings at quarter to 11 this morning, I'm nothing less than pissed off and irritated beyond belief. I reach over and smack it hard with my right hand to shut it off. "Money is the motivation…" I grumble to myself and lift my head from my soft white pillow. The paychecks I get from the park aren't half bad. I've been there for years, so I make more than minimum wage, but only by about a dollar. It's enough for me, though. I let a big, moaning yawn escape my mouth and I stretch my arms out. I've already pressed "snooze" four times already, and if I hit it again, I'm going to be late for the first day of park season. I sweep my covers back and put my feet on the floor of my bedroom. Still half asleep, I go over to my closet and pull the door open in search of my red t-shirt with the yellow "Dream Land" logo on the back of it. When I find it, I sniff it to make sure it doesn't stink. I'll probably have to order a new one this year because I've really bulked up.

I yank the shirt on over my head and loop my arms through the armholes. I guess the good thing about working at the park is that there isn't a very strict dress code. They just ask that we wear the red t-shirts and whatever kind of pants we want to wear is up to us. It gets pretty hot here in San Antonio, so I grab a pair of blue jean shorts to ensure my comfort for the day. I put on my socks and tenner shoes and stalk miserably into the bathroom. The other good thing about the park is that it's only for the summer. I don't have to work there year-round. I stick some toothpaste on my toothbrush, lazily brush my teeth and comb through my messy black hair. I try to think of at least one positive thing about going to work today. I guess I can't wait to see my old friends, Greggy, Mike, Emily and Paige. That's the only thing I can come up with.

Greggy works next to me, running the dunk tank. Greggy's a master bullshitter. He once conned me into getting in the dunk tank. Paige was the one who threw the ball and knocked me in. That's not my proudest moment, so I don't talk about that too much. Anyway, I don't bet with Greggy anymore because he's sneaky and underhanded. He's a genius, if you ask me. I've just learned to stop falling victim to his ways. Mike controls the Ferris wheel. Mike has been my best friend since freshman year of high school. His parents pulled him out of Providence High junior year and he graduated from Incarnate World High, but we still remained friends. Emily runs the bumper cars and Paige is in charge of park cleanup. Paige really fits the role of the "dumb blonde", but I love her anyway. Em and I used to date a few years back. Things didn't work out between us. I really did miss my friends, though. I didn't get to see them during the school year, because we all went to different schools, but every summer since I was sixteen we've worked together. They hired us all around the same time.

I rinse my mouth out with water, spit and shove my dark blue Razor phone in my pocket. I jog down the steps and round the bend to see nothing but the empty kitchen. I don't think anybody else in my house is up and at 'em, because it's quiet. With four boys in the house, it's never quiet here unless everyone is asleep. I don't see the point in waking my mom or dad to tell them that I'm leaving. They'll know where I am, I'm sure of it. I grab my dad's truck keys off the key rack and leave out. It's already hot out here and it's not even noon yet. I could probably walk to work, but I don't walk anywhere. If I have to walk places, I just don't go and that's that. I hop in the driver's seat of my dad's 2009 Trailblazer and start it. For the most part, I'm just glad that I don't work until closing time tonight. I hate closing the park more than actually working there. I pull out of my parents' driveway and take the slight left onto the freeway and ride the road out to the park's entrance.

Luckily, towards the back entrance there's an employee parking lot. If there wasn't, parking would be a bitch and a half. It gets super busy around here during the summertime and the parking lot is ALWAYS full. I roll down the window to catch a slight breeze while I drive. I heard the park fell under new ownership this summer. I'm not excited to see the new changes the new owners probably put in place. I'm a firm believer in leaving things as they are. I pull into a parking spot next to Greggy's black BMW and put the truck in park. Before I get out, I rest my head against the steering wheel for a moment. Just give me the strength to make it through today, that's all I ask for. I haven't even gotten into the park yet and I'm already ready to go the hell home. I look at the bright green clock on the dashboard. 11:25, my shift starts in five minutes. With a sigh of reluctance, I step out of the car and back into the harsh sunlight and the nasty humidity.

The park opens at 12, so I probably have to do some last minute setting up when it comes to the games. I walk over to the back entrance and go inside. I stop at the time clock to punch in and continue on to the front of the park to the game booths. It's neat and very clean around here, like it always is during the start of park season. Every spring before the park opens up for business, these cleaning people come in and scrub it down from bench to rollercoaster cart. Whatever happens from there on out is Paige's job to worry about. Paige is a sweep, and she really hates her job. I wouldn't mind sweeping up messes. The only thing I'd hate is cleaning the toilets at the end of my shift.

I pull my phone from my pocket and open it up, not paying attention as I walk towards the front of the park to my booths. I could walk this entire park with my eyes closed, that's how used to being here I am. "Hey, Hey!" Emily runs over to me from behind the bumper cars control booth and gives me a huge hug. I shut my phone and put it back in my pocket to pay attention to her. Emily has the blackest hair I've ever seen in my life and the bluest eyes in all of Texas. Her hair and eyes complement each other well, and the fact that she's so pale she's probably never had a tan in her life really helps. Emily was my first real crush. We tried dating last year, but decided we'd be better off as friends. I'm glad that we could remain friends after dating. I know tons of couples who break up and are never friends again. That's not the case for Em and I. "It's the first day of park season, smile a little dude!"

"I'm not in the mood for park season, Em." I wrap my arms around her in a friendly hug and let her go. "So where's the music at? The food? It's dead in here for it to be opening in a half hour." I look around and notice that the stage that the bands usually play at is being set up. "Band hasn't arrived yet?" I didn't check the schedule they sent out to our houses to see who's playing today. It's usually some washed up band that can't find another gig around San Antonio. The bands usually do the gigs for free, and whatever the park customers decide to tip them is what they get. I tend to feel bad for some of the bands because the majority of them are actually decent. Not decent enough for a record deal, but decent anyway. They're usually indie-rock and I guess the industry just isn't interested in signing indie-rock groups.

"You didn't hear?" Em leans back against my game booths and sticks her butt out in her short, tight blue jean shorts. I guess my biggest regret is not having sex with Em before I broke up with her. On the other hand, I'm glad we never had sex. Sex ruins everything about a friendship, so I've heard. I still find Em extremely pretty though. "The new owners closed up open gigs. They hired a permanent singer. She's some new girl that I haven't seen yet. Mike's seen her and he said that she's kind of pretty but she has big horse teeth. Said she has like… blonde hair or something. Whoever she is, she's late. If it were any of us, we'd be fired if we showed up late today. I guess the rules can bend for new girl." Em's jealous side is coming out, which is part of the reason we broke up. She can be very catty and I didn't like that too much.

"She's blonde? That's the last thing we need around here is another blonde." I glance over at Paige, trying to figure out exactly how to open up the new dust pans they gave her. Like I said, Paige really fits the mold of a "dumb blonde." She's not exactly dumb; she's more of an airhead. I've always thought Paige was kind of cute because of how she thinks. She's a bit naïve though, which is why we get so annoyed with her. Much like Em, Paige is really pale with golden blonde hair that just touches her shoulders with big green eyes. She's never been much my type, to be honest. She isn't ugly, I just don't particularly care for blondes. "Is she our age? What is she supposed to do? Sing all day?"

Em shrugs her shoulders. "I dunno. But I don't think it's fair how she's the new girl and she gets a paycheck PLUS tips. I've been working here for two years and I'm STILL making $8.85. She gets to stand there all day, sing, make the same amount of money we made when we just started out, AND keep her tips? I'm already not feeling on the new owners." Em hops up and sits on the counter of the game booths. "PAIGE! Come here…" She waves Paige over to join us. Paige leaves her broom and dust pan beside the bumper cars and comes over to join us. Before we can even greet each other, Em starts popping off at the mouth again. "Have you seen the new girl?"

"Yeah, she just came in. She's behind the stage. You hear how she actually gets a PAYCHECK?" Paige jumps up and sits right next to Em. "That's bullshit; she'll be making more than all of us. And all she has to do is sing. I'll stand up there and sing to make $7.85 plus tips. I'll bet she's not that good of a singer. I don't even know why the new owners decided to close open gigs. I actually liked some of the bands that played here." Paige starts swinging her feet. "But new girl's kind of pretty. I like her hair more than anything. She has REALLY big teeth, though."

"You guys are so judgmental." I shake my head and put out a line of twelve basketballs. I take the hoops down too. "Females, I'll never understand your species." I lean forward and watch the stage to see the new girl when she comes out. That's the thing about being so close with Em and Paige. All they do is talk about other girls and judge other girls. Women are so catty, I can't stand it. I kind of agree that it's messed up how she gets a paycheck plus tips, but bitching isn't going to change the bosses' minds. The curtain parts a little and through it walks a small little girl with brownish colored hair. She has very short legs and she's really thin. Her hair isn't blonde. It's brown, but maybe there are some blonde pieces in it. It's a little longer than Paige's hair but shorter than Em's. "That her?" I ask the girls.

"Yeah, that's her. She looks like she's still in high school or something." Paige rolls her eyes. "She BETTER at least be good… She's like twelve and making more than all of us." Em jumps down and walks back over to the bumper cars. Paige gets down too and goes to grab her cleaning utensils. I keep looking at the new girl. She's awfully small. I seriously doubt she's old enough to be working here legally. The way she dresses actually supports my theorem. She has on a bright pink skirt, a dark grey Led Zeppelin band t-shirt and grey flip flops. She takes a seat near the front of the stage and grabs a little acoustic guitar. I look over at Paige and Emily. Emily sticks her finger in her mouth, making the "yuck" sign. Paige just shakes her head. I chuckle at how they're not even giving her a chance.

New girl politely crosses her legs and opens up her guitar case to a sign that says "Tips" written in bright pink marker. She's really… pink. Oh yeah, she has to be like fourteen, maybe thirteen. A man in a dark grey business suit plugs her up to amps and turns the amps on so that the music will be projected all over the park. "Must be one of the new owners." I mumble to myself and bend down to grab a little basket of baseballs. Behind her, a drummer sits down behind a drum set and amps himself up too. I can't believe they really canceled open gigs for a little girl to sing to us, probably about lollipops and gummibears. I watch her hand as she grips one of the frets and starts strumming with her bare fingers. She leans forward to the microphone and adjusts it. I wonder if they gave her a list of songs she's allowed to sing. Only certain songs are appropriate to play at a family amusement park. I wonder if she's gonna sing something she writes. Paige walks back over to me and sighs. Sometimes I feel bad for her. Her job has to be boring, much more boring than the rest of ours. "Want to put money on what she's gonna sing?" Paige jumps up like Em did and sits on the edge of the booth table. "Fifty bucks says she starts out with 'I'm a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie world!' Fifty bucks says it." She holds her hand out to me. I decide not to shake on that. She's so little that I wouldn't be surprised if she actually did start singing about Barbies. "How old you think she is?"

"Fourteen at best." I answer her honestly. I look up as I hear a significant amount of chattering and laughter. The gates must have been opened already. The day has officially begun. I bend down to check and see if the ticket machine is filled up properly. "What time do you get off?"

"Seven thirty." She starts swinging her feet. Behind me and Paige's talking, some music starts. Both of us perk our heads up and look at the stage, interested in what she's going to sing. I can't help but wonder how she got this job. Somebody must have felt pretty sorry for her to let her sing here. I don't even think she's of legal age.

* * *

**2023.**

"How old was the little singer? Was she old enough to be working?" Elisabeth interrupts my story for a brief moment. "Was this the stage she was on? And what ever happened to Paige and Emily? Do you still speak to them?" She lifts her head from my shoulder and just stares into my eyes. I can tell when Lizzy's confused, and she clearly is. I'll fill in a couple holes for her in a minute. I look around the empty park we're sitting in. I'm just now realizing how painful it is to actually be speaking of this. I'd give anything to go back fifteen years ago. I didn't realize then how important and amazing the summer the park went under new management was going to be. If I knew then what I know now, I'd be a much wiser thirty three year old man. I keep running my hands over the wood of the rotting stage. I look up at my wife.

"This is the stage she was on." I point across the old walkway. "I ran those booths right there." I give a nonchalant smile at the bumper cars where Em worked. I remember hearing the sounds of Paige's broom sweeping the paths. "I keep up with Emily and Paige on social networking websites. Em lives in New Mexico now, she has two kids already… married to a lawyer. Paige lives up in Austin. She has six kids, I believe. I still keep up with them, just as much as they keep up with me, babe." I look behind myself at the stage. "Paige and I sat over at my booths and…" I continue my story while Lizzy just listens.

* * *

**2008.**

"_Of all the things I've believed in, I just wanna get it over with. _

_Tears form behind my eyes, but I do not cry…Counting the days that pass me by._

_I've been searching deep down in my soul. Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old._

_It feels like I'm starting all over again. The last three years were all pretend…_

_And I said…"_

I look over at Paige and she looks back at me. "She's not half bad." I admit. I tap my foot along to the music and watch all the kids walk past me and into Emily's bumper cars line. Paige just sits still and listens with me. She even bobs her head along. "You like her?" I ask.

"I like this song." She shrugs. "I used to have Michelle Branch's CDs when I was little, so I know this song."

"_Goodbye to you. _

_Goodbye to everything I thought I knew._

_You were the one I loved, the one thing that I tried to hold onto."_

"She's good, Paige. For a fourteen year old, she's good." I rest my elbows on the booth table and lean forward. She's completely playing the tune by herself, with very little help from the drummer behind her. She taps her skinny little leg along to what she's strumming and adjusts her microphone when there's a break in the music. A few older people stop by and drop ones in her guitar case. Paige steps down from my table. "Where you goin', Paige?"

"To ask Emily what she thinks of her." She walks over towards the bumper cars.

I think she's pretty doggone good to be such a little girl.

* * *

"Some little kid threw up all over The Vortex." Paige sits down at the table with all of us and slams her name badge down on the green painted, wooden picnic table. She huffs and dumps the contents of her brown paper lunch bag out. "I keep wondering when I'll be promoted to actually running something. Sweeping gets so old." She palms a can of Dr. Pepper and clicks the can opener on top. I reach over and grab her Zebra Cake and pop open the package. She pops a purple grape in her mouth and starts chewing obnoxiously. "How much ass did you guys have to kiss to get to actually run a ride?"

"I don't know about Joe…" Em starts, passing Paige a carton of Newport cigarettes. "I just had to flash the boss one of my boobs." She jokes. Em's sense of humor is awfully dark and dry. It could be a little offensive if you're not used to something like that. Aside from Greggy, Em's one of the funniest people I know. "No but seriously… just ask. I hear the new bosses are pretty nice. They're floating around towards the front of the park. Just tell them that you've been here for almost three years and you'd like to run a ride or a game or something. I don't think they'd turn you down. They could make Greggy sweep and you could run the dunk tank." Em lights up her cigarette and takes a long drag. I settle for a bite of Paige's snack cake. "Then again… you know how much Greggy likes looking at the shirtless boys that come by his dunk tank."

I laugh at that. I've never had a problem with Greggy being gay. I'm not gay, and as long as Greggy doesn't try to come on to me, I don't care about him being gay. I don't think he's came out of the closet to anyone except us, so we don't talk about it too much. "Yeah Paige. Maybe you'll have a better chance of running something this year. With new bosses, maybe these ones will actually like you." I shove the rest of the Zebra Cake in my mouth and chew. The old bosses really didn't like Paige. I didn't know why and Paige never told me why. They just really didn't like her. I hope that she has a better time with the new ones, because the old ones really made her life a living hell. "Are Mike and Greggy on different break schedules than us?"

"Probably." Paige takes a drag of her cigarette too and eats another grape. I never eat while I'm here. It's not that I can't afford anything; it's just that everything here is so fattening. Freshman year, when I first started working here, I gained fifteen pounds. The old bosses gave all employees a 75% discount on food during work hours too, so that only made it easier for me to eat so much. I used to shovel three funnel cakes, two hot dogs, a basket of loaded fries and four ice cream cones down my throat and only have to pay $5.00 for all of it. It took me all of sophomore year and half of junior year to tone up the weight once I've lost it.

"I was talking to Mike earlier and he said something about going down to the boardwalk after we get off. They're having that school's out firework show down there at 9:45. I think we're all gonna go. You two?" Em snuffs the flame of her cigarette and tosses the butt on the ground. Paige just gives her a half desperate look. A lot of the time, we forget that Paige is the one that picks up our litter. To throw Paige a bone, I bend down and pick up Em's cigarette butt. She shoots me a "thank you" glance. I nod at her.

"I'll probably come. I don't have anything else better to do tonight." I open my phone and check the time. I still have three more hours until my shift is over.

"And Joe, you're my date." Em just throws that in there. I shoot her a look. She giggles and flips her long, dark hair over her shoulder. "Not like that, I swear." She runs her fingers through her silky locks and smiles at me. "It's a triple date thing. Mike's going with Paige, Greggy's bringing this guy from his Bible Study and me and you are going together. Me and you are the only single ones, so it only makes sense to go together." She crosses her legs and leans forward to look at me. "Unless you say no, of course."

"You know I won't say no, Emily." I crack the cap off my light blue Gatorade and take several guzzles of it. My fifteen minutes is almost up. "I guess I'll come pick you up around 9:00 tonight. Don't be late." I stand up and throw away the cigarette butt and the empty bottle of Gatorade. Gatorades don't last long with me. Honestly, I don't want to get back together with Em. I still have feelings for her, lying deep down underneath. But I really don't want her back. I like being Em's friend more than her boyfriend. "I'll see you two later. My break's over." I ruffle Paige's hair and pat Emily on her back. "Back to the game booths I go." I wipe a layer of sweat from my brow and take long strides to make it back to the game booths before my fifteen minutes has officially expired. I walk past the Ferris wheel, waving at Mike on my way. Mike waves back and pushes the button to make the wheel stop. I keep on trucking.

Sitting on the edge of the stage alone is the new singer girl. She isn't singing, but corny amusement park music is projecting over the loudspeakers in the park. I guess she's on her break too. I don't think Emily and Paige gave her enough credit. It might actually be hard for her to sing for hours upon hours at a time. I open the gate and walk back behind the booths. I take my "closed" sign down and wait for a customer. She looks really lonely. Everyone here is so much older than her; it must suck for her to not have friends. I watch her reach over and grab a big jug of Tropicana orange juice. She sucks the orange liquid up through a purple bendy straw. She sticks her hand in a small box of saltine crackers and eats one.

Maybe she's on a diet, because I've honestly never seen somebody drink orange juice and eat crackers in the middle of hot weather like this, let alone a big ass jug of it. Then again, I hope she isn't on a diet. She's already so wispy and thin. If she goes on a diet, there will be nothing left of her. Mike told me that her name Dahlia or Delilah, one of the two. I've been told some pretty ironic things today. For example, the fact that Greggy, a homosexual to his heart, is taking a boy from his BIBLE STUDY on a date tonight. That's pretty ironic. But it would be terribly funny if her name was Delilah instead of Dahlia, when she already sang "Hey There Delilah" today. I'd really get a kick out of that.

I watch her take one more sip of her orange juice and dip a cracker into a small container of peanut butter. When I get bored from watching her, I grab one of the orange balls from my rack and shoot a couple hoops with it. The first day of park season is always really slow for me. It's slow, because the rest of the park is EXTREMELY busy and most everyone wants to ride some of the rides rather than play games. I'm looking forward to going out with my friends tonight, but I'm NOT looking forward to being on a "date" with Emily. Em's usually good with the whole "just friends" concept, so I don't think that she's gonna think that we're getting back together and whatnot. I'm just worried that I'm gonna develop more feelings than I already have for her.

Paige and Mike are an item, and I already know how Em feels about Paige and Mike's relationship. She's a little bit jealous of them. I shoot one ball and it swishes through the hoop. I grab my rebound and shoot it again. Swish. Even if Em and I did get back together this summer, we couldn't stay together. I'm not a big fan of long distance relationships, and I'm going to Texas A&M while she's going to Texas Tech. The two campuses are nearly three hours away from each other. We'd never be able to make that work. I wouldn't even be willing to try.

* * *

**2023.**

"Wait, babe. I'm confused…" Lizzy puts her hand up to stop me. "So did you like Emily or not at the time? And why did the old bosses hate Paige?" She tucks her hair behind her ear and takes her head off my shoulder once again. "I thought you told me that you had a girlfriend when you were eighteen… but you told me that you and Emily never did get back together after you broke up. You said that was it…" She looks at me, once again with those menacingly confused eyes. I clear my throat and stare across the way at the old booths. I remember shooting hoops during my free time.

"I'll explain. I didn't lie to you, Liz." I clear my throat once more. She's really gotta stop interrupting me. At this rate, she's gonna turn a twenty minute story into a two hour long story. I do understand her confusion, however. I've never formally told her about my time at Dream Land amusement park. She deserves to know and understand the full magnitude of this place. This place has made me into the person I am right here, right now. "I never did find out why the old bosses didn't like Paige."

"…Why did they shut this place down?" She just keeps throwing question after question after question at me. I'll connect all the dots for her eventually, I swear to it. "_When _did they shut this place down?"

"They shut it down in the winter of 2008, after I left to go off to college." I look around some more. I'm so glad it's not that cold out here, otherwise I'd mind being here. "If you let me continue, I'll tell you why they shut it down…"

"Oh, okay. Sorry. Continue." She lies her head down on me once again, signaling that I can resume my story. "It's just a little boring so far. Is there a twist?"

I nod. There is a twist. There's a BIG twist; a twist so big that I don't even know if I'm going to talk about it. I'm going to chicken out of telling her, I can feel it. I'm not ready to talk about this. I'm not strong enough just yet. But I realize that in order to fully, completely and eternally commit myself to my wife, I have to face this. I have to tell her about this. I have to let all this go. So, as painful as it is, I clear my throat and continue on with my story.


	2. The Interesting Part

**2008.**

"So how was your first day back?" Emily asks me, nestling her hand into mine to hold it. I don't think Em understands that this isn't exactly a date. We're just out as friends. But, because I'm way too much of a gentleman to pull my hand away from hers, I just let her hold it. We walk along the boardwalk planks, feeling the breeze that's coming off the ocean. The lights from the tiki torches along the railing are shining off Em's face, making her bright blue eyes glisten. Em's beautiful, to say the very least. I only wish that we had more compatible personalities. "Mine was busy, of course. Had a few kids cry because they weren't tall enough, of course. But I'm thinking you don't have those problems over at the game booth…" She loosens the grip around my hand long enough for me to feel that hers is sweaty, but she retightens it again and we just keep walking. I wonder where Paige, Mike, Greggy and his date all went. Somehow I think they planned for Em and I to end up alone.

"It was boring like the first day of park season always is for me." I lift my free hand to my mouth and suck on the straw of the Mountain Dew I bought when we first got here. It's empty, only ice in the bottom of the cup. I throw it in the nearest garbage can and wipe my lips off. "Not many people played games today. You and Mike took all my business. But, I guess my job's still better than Paige's; even though I wouldn't really mind being a sweep." I actually mean that. I wouldn't mind being a sweep. At least with Paige's job, there's always something to do. "So what'd you think of the new girl?"

"She was good." She shrugs and stops walking for a moment. "Look…" She gasps and points out to the open water. I trace my eyes to where her finger is pointing and look. She's pointing at a huge catfish swimming in the river below. I honestly don't know why we call it "the boardwalk." There are absolutely no beaches near San Antonio, so to call it "the boardwalk" is an overstatement. It's formally called The River Walk, sort of like a mini city on the edge of a river where people go to fish, have dinner, sightsee and play games. I guess we call it a boardwalk because it's like a carnival, just like an official boardwalk. "So uh… what's the deal with us, Joe? Are we still acting like we don't want each other, or…"

I exhale acrimoniously and run my hand through my hair. I knew Em was going to ask about this. I would be crazy to think that she wouldn't ask about this. This is exactly the reason why I didn't want to go out with Emily again. Even though we clearly established the fact that this is nothing more than a friendly "JUST AS FRIENDS" date, something told me that she was going to do this. I filter through the words in my head to think of a way to let her down nicely. "…I don't want to ruin anything between us, Em. I feel like things between us are just as they need to be…don't you?" I hold my breath and wait for her response. Paige has been telling me that Em still has deep feelings for me, but I just don't feel that way for her any longer. I can't see us ruining our friendship trying on a relationship that we already know won't work.

"But Joe, we're both older now. We're not those same little kids we used to be. You and I both know that. I'm sorry, but I really do believe that if we tried again, we could make it work. I've grown up since then; you've grown up since then… what's stopping us from trying again?" She stops walking and stands in front of me. She looks up at me with her crystalline bright blue eyes and puts her hands in mine. "And you know what I'm saying is the truth, otherwise you wouldn't even be here in the first place." She stands on her tiptoes and moves in like she's going to kiss me. "Nobody knows you like me, Joe. And nobody knows me like you know me. So why don't we just cut the crap…" Her silky lips graze against mine lustfully. "And give our hearts what our hearts want…" She closes her eyes and gives me a fragile kiss. My eyes don't close, they remain open.

"Em, no." I tactfully reject her, hopeful that I don't too much hurt her feelings. "I like you. I like you a lot, Emily. But just like you said, we're two different people now. I'm not the same little boy you dated years ago, and you're not the same girl. Em, are we even still attracted to one another? You need to like me… for me. Not for the person you assume I am. I'm not… who you think I am anymore. I've done lot of growing up… and I'm not sure if we're still… the same people we liked. I don't want to hurt your feelings, Em. That's the last thing I want to do… But I just don't think we're right for each other." I think I let her down nicely. Call me soft, but I really don't like to hurt any girl's feelings.

"That's the thing though, Joe." She snags her right hand through her long black hair sassily and rolls her eyes. "You're not even willing to give it a chance. You're just assuming that it won't work." I can see the tears welling up in her eyes and my heart is snapping in half. I didn't mean to hurt her. "I've been in love with you since I was a little girl, Joe. Just ask Paige. Ever since the first day we started working together… ever since you introduced yourself to me. I've been truly, madly, deeply, and just hopelessly in love with you. And you won't even chance it." The single soft tear that rolls down her cheek shines under the lights. "Don't worry. I won't kiss you again. Sorry for doing it in the first place."

"Emily, you have to try to understand where I'm coming from!" I grit my teeth in frustration and pinch the bridge of my nose. "I…. am _sorry, _alright? I'm sorry that you feel this way about me. But Em, I don't feel the same about you. And I can't see myself hurting you more by pretending to like you when I don't. The last thing I want to do is hurt you… and ruin our friendship. Please consider that, Em. Can you just accept the fact that I _do_ love you, just not in that way? I love you enough to tell you this. I love you enough to not want to hurt your feelings. Please accept that?"

She folds her arms across her chest and looks down at the cobblestone path, avoiding any possible eye contact with me. Damn, I feel like shit. "I guess I have to accept that, don't I? You leave me no other choice. I just wish you would have told me all this _before _I poured my entire heart out to you." She walks to the edge of the river and leans against the balcony. "I sure feel like an idiot now. I said all that and you still rejected me." Her long black locks shine in the light refracting off the surface of the river water. It's only around 10:30, but I'm ready to go home. Something told me that Emily was going to ask me about something like this and run the entire date. Male's intuition, I guess.

I walk over to where Em's standing and lean against the balcony too. Specifically because I don't have anything else to do, I lean over a little further and spit a wad of saliva into the water below. I pick my head up and look a little bit past Emily's profile and watch tourists take pictures on the bridge that crosses over the river and leads to the other side with all the restaurants and souvenir shops. A boat full of passengers passes through the water underneath of us. I've lived in San Antonio all my life and I've never taken a boat through the river. It's just not something I've ever been interested in. Strutting down the path like it's a catwalk; I see familiar golden blonde flying in the distance. I don't express it aloud, but I'm extremely thankful for Paige coming over here. Hopefully she'll break up the awkward silence between Em and I.

"Joe! Emily!" She sounds slightly out of breath when she calls our names as she approaches us. "I've been looking all over for you guys." She stops walking and hunches over with her hands on her knees to catch her breath once she's in our earshot. Both Em and I step away from the balcony and walk closer to Paige. "Mike, Greggy, Matty and I are all going back to the park in a little bit. Apparently the new bosses are having some sort of after-hours employee party at the park until 1 a.m., and we're all invited. You guys coming?"

I take a quick glance at Em. She still looks pretty upset about my rejection, but I can truthfully say that I'm not that perturbed by it. I know that if I didn't tell her the truth by rejecting her, I'd end up hurting her feelings pretty bad and that's honestly the last thing I want to do. So I'd rather her be a little upset with me right now then to hate me later on in life by dating her when I don't even like her that much. But because I'm a nice guy, I take one half-step over to her and grab her hand. "Yeah, we'll come. It can't be any more boring than it is here, right?" I nudge Em with the soft part of my shoulder and muster a smile up out of her.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Em agrees, flashing both Paige and I her pearly white teeth. Emily is all I want in a girl, quite honestly. She's everything that defines my "type." She's slender, with an athletic build. Her chest isn't significantly huge, but it's big enough to stick out from her petite body type. Her waist-length deep black hair is so silky that it won't hold a ponytail even if she tried to tie it up. Her eyes are an unnaturally bright shade of blue, her jawline curves out and down to a point. She has a slight widow's peak which gives her face the perception of being heart-shaped. If I had to compare her to anyone, I'd say she looks something like Snow White with longer hair and brighter eyes. But to me, physical attraction is only half the battle.

My old friends in high school used to call me "a softy", but if liking a girl for more than their looks makes me soft then I'll be soft. I'm just not the kind of guy that can get with a girl just because she's pretty. Being pretty sure helps, but I can't see myself dating a bitch with long hair and flawless skin. Not that Em's a bitch, the point I'm trying to make is deeper than just that. What I'm trying to say is that I could be physically attracted to you and still not want to date you. I just feel like I'd be cheating myself and the girl if I pretended to like her just because she's pretty. Maybe that does make me a softy.

* * *

**2023.**

"It sounds like you really cared about Emily… what happened after you guys went off to college? Did you just drift apart?" Elisabeth rests her hand on her protruding baby bump and pulls herself further up on the stage we're sitting on. I cautiously put my hand on her back to brace her and help her make herself more comfortable. It's getting colder and colder out here by the moment, but if we keep going at the rate we're going, I'll be finished with my story in about twenty minutes. It's not freezing out here. We can definitely both withstand this cold. "I think it was very mature and very sweet of you to tell Emily that you didn't want to hurt her." She rests her cool hand on the back of my neck and rubs. It's not until now that I realize my body is sweating profusely. Maybe I'm sweating so much because I know that the point in my story where I can't fathom to go on is coming up; the part that changed my life.

"Yeah, I cared about Em." Part of me wonders if Liz is even ready to her about any of this. I've spent all this time focusing on the fact that I'm not ready to _talk _about this yet. I haven't even began to think about how hard it might be for my wife to hear about some of the things I'm about to begin to explain. Then again, if Elisabeth loves me the way I know she loves me; she won't have a problem hearing about this. If she loves me the way I think she does; she loves me enough to know that no matter what I've been through and who I've fallen deeply in love with before, she will forever be the only one I'm dedicated to. She does share my heart with someone, though. "Em met someone when she went off to college, just like I knew she would. …And of course, I met you."

Liz starts peeling at whatever remains of the chipped black paint they used to paint the stage with. She swings her feet and hesitantly looks up at me. "…Is this going to get interesting any time soon?" She doesn't want to hurt my feelings, so she disguises the severity and seriousness of her question with a lighthearted laugh. "There's gotta be more to this story, right? You wouldn't have dragged me back here into this old amusement park just to tell me about your friends, and the girl you …claimed to have never loved? Though, you're clearly lying about that, because you said that you had a girlfriend during this summer. Unless you and Paige hooked up or something…" She rubs a chunk of old black paint between her fingers and throws it on the ground, finally making her befuddled approach to my story apparent.

"Just let me continue, babe. I promise it'll all make perfect sense to you when I'm done." I use the sleeve of my coat to clean off the sticky black residue from her fingers. "I _did _have a girlfriend when I was eighteen, babe. And it _wasn't _Emily or Paige." I kiss the tips of her fingers once I've cleaned them. "The interesting parts are coming up. And no, I didn't bring you here for any stupid reason." I exhale and look up at the cloudy sky, thinking of a place to pick up my story so that an interesting part isn't long off. It's times like this where I wish I could visit her. Times like this when I wonder what we could have been, had I had a little more time. I wish I could see her, hold her again, listen to her voice. I think that's the hardest part, though. I remember so vividly what she looks like, what she smells like, how she dresses, how she talks. I wonder where she's living at these days. I wonder what her house is like; if she got everything she ever wanted. I'm damning myself to hell a little bit more every time I refer to her in the present tense, though. Everything I say should very well be in the past. But I think that's a part of letting go. Letting go is something I haven't quite figured out how to do yet.

"So we all went back to the amusement park. The new owners of Dream Land were there, and the owners of the entire Rowing Tidal park chain were there too. It was dark when I walked in with Emily, but…"

* * *

**2008.**

"I'm gonna go grab some cheese fries. Is there anything that you want?" Like the gentleman I was raised to be, I fish my wallet out of my back pocket and offer to buy Em something if she's hungry. I wasn't home long enough to eat whatever my mother made for dinner, so to say that I'm starving would be a major understatement. As I explained earlier however, I don't like to eat too much of the park food. So with that being said, I'll settle for a boat of cheese fries and eat dinner whenever I decide to take myself home for the night. Em shakes her head at me and kicks her foot back and forth. She's been silent with me ever since we left the boardwalk. "Nothing? Ice cream? Funnel cake? A soda?" I try to jog her some more but she still refutes. I give up. "…Alright. I'm gonna go grab a bite to eat. Go have some fun, Em. I'll come find you when I'm done eating." She nods silently and walks away.

I clutch my wallet in my right hand and walk past the Ferris wheel, past the bumper cars, past Barry's BigDrop, past the Heart Racer and to the nearest concession stand. I think things between me and Em are ruined. I'm a little disappointed though. I did all that with rejecting her and telling her how I really felt about her to prevent us from falling apart as friends. We end up falling apart anyway. I try not to think anything of it though, because sometimes Em just needs her time to cool off. But admittedly so, I've never seen Emily so upset. I'm beginning to think that maybe I should just try to fall in love with her. Em and I go way back. I'm not prepared to lose her as a friend just yet.

I really ought to stop being so sensitive. It's not that acceptable for me to be such a sensitive guy. If my high school friends ever really got into my mind, they'd pummel me and probably call me gay. I'm not even close to being gay. I don't find boys the slightest bit attractive. But if real hardcore, "macho" guys ever got a load of the shit I think about, they'd swear otherwise. I walk up to the concession stand and tap the little silver bell on the counter. A brown haired girl with light brown eyes looks up from a pad of printer paper and puts the pencil she was drawing with down. She has long, chest-length light brown hair and golden brown eyes. I've never seen her working before. "What do you need?" She springs up from her stool and walks over to me. She seems very… bubbly. I've never seen only one person working behind a concessions counter before. I think the only reason she's alone is because this party is only open to crew members that work here at the park. Is she even a worker?

"Can I have a boat of the loaded cheese fries?" I open up my wallet and pull out a ten dollar bill. It shouldn't be more than ten bucks. "And I'll take a Sierra Mist too." I set the bill down on the counter and slide it across to her. She's very pretty, actually. She's really short, but she's also very thick. She's so tan that I'm not sure if she's biracial or if she just tans a whole lot. Her hair falls in big bouncy curls to the middle of her back and covers the park logo on the back of her yellow t-shirt. She busily hurries around the kitchen area and uses the scooper to drizzle cheese all over my fries.

"Do you need ketchup?" I shake my head. "You want bacon bits on the top?" I nod. She digs a plastic cup down in a cooler full of ice and tops it off full of Sierra Mist. I catch her eyes wander down to the counter where I have my money. "…You know this is free, right? It's all on the bosses." She sets my fries and my drink down on a red tray and carries it over to me. "My dad would never make his employees pay for the food they cook… it's just… not right. But I do accept tips, if you want to give that ten away anyway." She winks at me and returns to her stool to continue drawing. She's funny. I think I kind of like her. But what'd she say about her dad?

"You're the boss's daughter?" I grab a salt shaker and sprinkle salt onto my fries. I swap it for the pepper shaker and sprinkle some pepper too. "So you _don't _work here?" I'm so hungry that I can't wait to go formally sit down and eat this. I stab my fork down into my fries and shovel a forkful of cheesy goodness into my mouth. "What'd you say your name was?" I ask her after I swallow the food in my mouth. These cheese fries are just as good as they were for the whole sophomore year I ate here. They might actually be a little bit better.

"I didn't." She puts her pencil down again and comes back over to the counter. "But it's Dallas… in case you were wondering. Dallas Lovato." She runs her hand through her hair and sticks it out for me to shake it. "And yeah, my stepdad and my uncle bought the park. Did you say what your name was?"

"Nah, but it's Joe. Joe Jonas." I shake her hand warmly. "I work at the game booths towards the front of the park."

"No kidding?" She reaches down and hands me a couple extra ketchup packets. "Maybe next time I decide to come in here, I'll come check you out. I don't really spend that much time here, but my boyfriend actually wants to come down here tomorrow to check it out. You working tomorrow?" Damn. Of course she has a boyfriend. I was a fool to think she wouldn't. She's pretty. Unnaturally pretty, and she has a bubbly personality. Of course she has a boyfriend.

"Unfortunately yes, I do work tomorrow. 12-7, so if you wanna come check me out, I'm free between those times." Behind her, a loud, screechy metal door opens and through it walks a familiar little girl. She's tiny—_very _tiny with shoulder-length brown, dark brown and blonde hair. She has on a sparkly lavender tank top and skimpy blue jean shorts. She's carrying a white box that appears to be bigger (and heavier) than she is. She utters soft grunts as she carries the gigantic box to a metal freezer. Dallas leaves me abruptly as soon as the tiny one comes in.

"Demi, what are you doing?!" She quickly grabs the box off the tiny one and lifts it up effortlessly onto the big table. "You know better than that. Who told you to bring that here? You should have gotten dad to carry it for you." Dallas seems distressed all of a sudden. Carefully, she lifts the tiny one's arm up and looks at it. "I hate when you try to be independent." She puts her arm down. "Just go ride something. Those fries weigh a ton… who told you to bring that box here?" So wait, the little singer is the boss's daughter too? This just gets better and better.

"Well dad kept complaining about how many of the stations were out of fries… I just wanted to help." The little singer girl backpedals and puts her hand on the lever to open the door. "Just call me if you need me to like… come cook for you or something." Before she leaves out through the door, her eyes catch a glimpse of me. "…What are you doing talking to the game booth guy?" She says under her breath. I don't think I was meant to hear that, but I did. Dallas throws me a giant smile and puts her arm around little singer. "That's my new buddy Joe. Joe, this is my baby sissy Demi. She's the singer here at the park, I don't know if you knew that or not." She introduces us.

I throw away my empty fry container and my empty soda cup in the rubbish can next to me. I give "Demi" a little friendly wave. "You're an excellent singer." I thought her name was Delilah or Dahlia. I'll never listen to my friends again. So far, they've been wrong twice about the new girl. Her name is NOT Delilah, and she is NOT a blonde. Demi squints her eyes while looking at me, almost as if she's checking me out. She's gotta be like fifteenish. She's checking me out as if I'll ever give her a chance. She's too young for me.

"…..Thank you." She opens up the metal door and disappears out of it.

* * *

**2023.**

"So what did Dallas's boyfriend think of you flirting with his girlfriend? Eventually, you took her off him right? So where is she now?" Liz's face is completely different now than it was one minute ago when she was complaining that she was bored by my story. She's not bored anymore. She seems really into it. "Why did you guys break up? Oh, don't stop. I wanna know what happens… can you fast forward to the next day? When she and her boyfriend come into the park? Please babe?"

I've got Lizzy interested now. This is exactly what I wanted. A slick smile spreads across my lips and I just continue on with my story. "So I started walking back to find Emily, when…."

* * *

**2008.**

I slip my wallet back into my pocket and start walking back in the same direction I left Emily in. I sure hope she's better now. Em is the most unpleasant thing to deal with when she's angry. With that being said, I slow my walk down to increase the amount of time it'd take to get to her. I just want to give her as much "cool-down time" as possible. While I'm walking, I hear soft click-clacking of flip flops beside me. I lift my head just slightly and beside me, the little itty bitty thing that happens to be named Demi is walking alongside me. "…What are you, following me?"

Childishly, she follows my footsteps, trying to mirror every single step. I'm already a little bit annoyed by her. "Something like that." I guess she can tell by the tone of my voice that I'm slightly irritated with her because she stops mirroring my steps. "…I see you've had the unfortunate displeasure of meeting the waste of skin that is Dallas." She talks so badly about her sister, I'm shocked. She was just really, really nice to her when she was having trouble with that box. I wrinkle my brow in slight bewilderment and look down at the ground. "I was only kidding…." She thrusts her hands out in front of her and moves them while she talks. She must be Italian; we all talk with our hands like that. "It was a joke… I love Dallas, she's a loser but she's my loser. Get it?" She sighs and gives up on me. "Maybe not. But uh… thanks. I'm glad you like my singing."

"I meant you're good. For a kid, of course." I shove my hands down in my pockets and slouch a bit while I walk. "You must like singing here, huh? You get to be with your family, sing, stand up there and do nothing and get paid for it. It must be great, yeah?"

"…What are you talking about?" Her voice goes from that childlike tone to something completely serious. "I don't get paid to be here… I'm here because I like it."

"So you don't…" I thought Mike and Paige and Em and Greggy all said that she gets paid what we get plus tips. "But I thought… I thought…"

"You thought wrong. What I make are tips. And I don't even get to keep my tips they all go towards…" She stops speaking and takes a jagged breath. "I just don't get paid to be here. I don't know what made you think I get paid to be here, but that's so not the case."

"Yeah, I'm a pretty big dope for that. You're not even old enough to legally work… I don't know why I believed my friends when they said—"

She interrupts me again. "…I'm eighteen, going on nineteen years old, want to tell me again how I'm not old enough to legally work here?"

"YOU'RE EIGHTEEN?!"

"Yeah?"

NO WAY. THERE IS NO WAY SHE'S EIGHTEEN. NO FREAKING WAY. She's so… but she's so…. "But you're so…."

"Little?"

"Yeah."

"I get that a lot." She nods. "I was born in '89. Dallas and I are a little more than one year apart. I'm almost nineteen, Jim. Even though I'm little… just…" She clears her throat. "…You'd understand if you really knew, Jim."

"It's Joe…"

"I'm just yanking your chain." She giggles. I can't help but laugh a little bit. She's actually pretty funny, now that I've gotten to know her. She still strikes me as a little bit odd, though. She's a very strange girl, unlike any girl I've ever met. She's the same age as I am, but she walks around in sparkles and child-like clothes. She mocks my movements like an annoying little sister. She wears so much pink and purple that she'd give a five year old a run for her money. If she's so old, why does she act so… immature? Everything's a big joke to her. It's not exactly a bad thing, it's just an unusual thing. She's no bigger than a twelve year old, though the more I look at her, the more I can see how… developed she is. She actually has big breasts. They're perfectly circular and they sit high on her chest. She's very wispy and thin and I don't think she's even cracked five feet. She's got the physique of a child but her body actually does resemble that of an adult. "…I'm going to go grab some granola out of the cooler in the back of the ice cream stand… guess I'll talk to you later. Bye Jim."

Granola? That's another thing about her. She has the diet of a five year old too. Why is she stuck in such a childlike stage? What's it going to take for her to grow the hell up? And why am I so fascinated with her? I crack a genuine smile. "See you later Delilah." I guess the only way to deal with her is to play her game. Who knows? Maybe I'll have fun being a kid again.


	3. Anything's Possible

**2008.**

"We should probably head home, yeah?" I rest the palm of my hand on Em's lower back and hold her small hand inside my larger. If I didn't know any better, I'd think she'd fallen asleep. As much as I don't want to admit it, everything in this moment is nothing less than perfect. Me, standing here on the smooth wooden dance floor, swaying softly from side to side holding Em in my arms, feeling the soft murmur of her heartbeat against my chest. I wish I could say that it all ends right here tonight. That I found Emily towards the front of the park talking with Cory, the boy who runs the turnpike ride, and she was fine. That little Demi got up on that stage upon her father's request and started to sing songs so heavenly that nobody had the choice but to grab someone special and dance along to them. That Em was completely forgiving and totally understanding of what I meant earlier at The Riverwalk. I wish I could say that this is where tonight ends, in this perfect, standstill moment. But of course, we still have the ride home. "It's getting late." I say that without even glancing at my watch. I'm sure it's getting close to 1 a.m., because the last time I checked up on the time, it was easily past 12:30. Even though I'm eighteen years old, I still have a curfew while living in my parents' house. Plus, my mom will probably have a conniption fit because I never told her where I was going anyway.

Emily puts her palms against the broadest part of my back and pulls me closer to her, desperate for this moment to remain eternal. This is just a friendly dance. She claims that she knows all of this, though. "Yeah, we should probably go ahead home." She nods. Her breath quickens a little as she loosens her grip on me. "…I work tomorrow evening, how about you?" The brisk early, early morning air causes Em's hair to fly off in a million different directions. I catch a strand of it and tuck it safely behind her ear. She looks around at the other couples slow dancing like we just were. "5-10:30." She expands on her times when I don't give her a quick answer.

"I work 12-7, so I'll be seeing you for a little bit." I pull away and hold her hand while we start back on our journey to my car. As we walk in silent, I let the angelic sound of Demi's melodious voice kiss me goodnight. Her rendition of "Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion sounds like something a church choir would sing to the heavens. She's a beautiful little singer. While Em and I pass the stage, I give her a friendly half-nod goodbye so that she doesn't have to stop singing just to bid me farewell. Her eyes and mine make direct contact so I know she saw me. Somehow, silently with her eyes, she tells me "goodnight." Her eyes shine brighter than Emily's from the lights illuminating down on her from the stage setup. It may sound a little bit outlandish, but her maple brown eyes are much brighter than Emily's crystal cyan blue ones. The silence between Emily and I while we're walking is getting to be a bit unnerving, so I decide to break it. I break it with the very first thing that comes to my mouth. "You know she's actually eighteen?" I say, in well regards to Demi. "And she doesn't get paid to be here… her folks are the ones that own the park now."

"Wow, you...really got to know her, huh?" Emily tries hard to mask the jealousy in her voice but it's apparent to me. I don't get why she's so jealous. I didn't say I liked Demi or anything. If anything, she should probably be jealous of Dallas. She's the one I'd go after if I was interested in one of them. I catch Em rolling her eyes, just before she begins to talk again. "Best friends in the entire… ten minutes you talked to her? Wow. That's a new record for you, isn't it?" Her tone is hasty, mirroring the way her entire face looks. She's in such a pissy mood because of this, though I can't imagine why. There is NO chance that Em and I can be something, so I wish she'd just stop while she's already ahead of herself. "Whatever, just take me home. I'm ready to leave already." I just shake my head at her, because I don't have anything else to say to her. I'm half a second away from telling her to shut the hell up.

"Fine, let's go home then." I fish my keys out of my pocket twirl them around my index finger. "You know, Emily, I really don't like this attitude. It's like you either want to be my everything or my nothing. Why's it so hard for you to just accept the fact that I don't want to be your boyfriend, I just want to be your friend? Why is that so off limits to you? Em, you're gonna meet someone when you go off to college. You'll forget all about me. I just want to be your friend… I love you, Em. But as your friend… not as your boyfriend." I exhale the longest breath I've ever taken and put my hands on my car door handle. I open it up and stand aside so that she can get in first. Being a gentleman gets really old at times.

She climbs in the car and fastens her seatbelt after I shut her door. I walk around the front of my car and get in the driver's seat. As soon as I get in, she starts up with me again. "You keep asking me to see it your way, Joe." She leans forward and rests her forehead against the dashboard. "But you refuse to see it my way. How would you react if there was a girl… that you were madly in love with… right in front of you… and she didn't want you?" She looks to me for reassurance that I can't give to her. "I don't expect you to see it my way, though. You're just so used to girls coming to you. You've never been rejected before… I know you haven't. You wouldn't understand, it's foolish of me to ask you to understand."

I put the key into the ignition and turn it, the engine revs to life. "Maybe that's true, Em. Maybe that's true." I twist my body and look backwards to make sure I can pull out of this space cleanly. "But if I ever did get rejected, I'd move on. I wouldn't keep harping on it, trying to guilt the poor girl into dating me. If I were in your position, I'd respect that. I'd respect the girl's decision because in the end, I'd really want someone that actually loves me. You can't possibly be okay with someone dating you just because you asked, can you? You'd want that person to actually love and care about you." I come off the intersection and turn left onto the long road that Em lives on. Emily lives in the middle-class section of town. Her family owns the nicest house in the middle-class section and I would most describe them as upper-middle class. My family lives in the richest part of town, but so far, we're not doing too well at maintaining that status anymore.

"Okay, you made a good point." She nods rapidly and I really feel like we're making a breakthrough here. "But you're basically telling me that I have no right to be hurt. I have the right to be upset, Joe. I love you, and you don't love me. I understand you don't love me. I understand that you don't want me. It bothers me, sure. But I UNDERSTAND. So don't tell me that I have no right to be upset over this. I have every right to feel hurt."

"Okay, yes. You DO have the right. But don't go making me feel all bad about it. You make me feel like crap and I don't appreciate it. I'm really trying to keep us as friends. I'm really trying to make sure that I don't hurt you. You make that so hard though, Ems. You act like I woke up this morning and made it my personal goal to hurt your feelings. You know that isn't the case." I look over at her. She has a solemn look on her face, because she knows that I'm right. I ease my foot up off the gas pedal and start applying the break, because I'm almost at Em's house. "We're friends, Em. And I'd really like to keep it that way, but you tend to make this really hard." She doesn't say anything. She just grabs the handle of the door and prepares to get out of the car.

* * *

**2023.**

"I don't get it. Why was Emily so jealous of Demi and not… Dallas? You weren't even interested in her, were you?" Liz swings her feet, which are hanging off the stage and sighs. "Sorry for interrupting you, honey. You can continue." She gives me her permission. I just nod. I reach in my pocket and check the time on my phone. It's only 5:45. I'll have the story done and over by six. I fold my hand inside of Elisabeth's hand squeeze it, just to let her know I'm still here for her. Thinking back at this summer, it's crazy how much I've grown up. I'm a completely different person now. Quite honestly, I think that I liked the person I used to be a hell of a lot better than the person I've become. "Before you continue though, babe…" Liz interrupts me once again, right before I start to talk again. "…_Why _does Demi act that way? So childlike, I mean."

At that, I just smile.

* * *

**2008.**

"Joey? Is that you, sweetheart?" When I walk through the door, I see soft lights coming from the living room. My mom's still awake. It's almost one o'clock in the morning and she's still awake? She must have been waiting up for me. She does this a lot. I toss the keys down on the little table in the hallway and shrug my jacket off. I hang my jacket on the coat rack behind the door and take my shoes off. My mom's the type of mother that doesn't sleep unless all her ducks are in a row. If one of us are out and about, she won't sleep until she knows that we're safe and in bed. My mother is the best mother, I believe. She used to be really bummed out that she lost her job, but I know that she's enjoying it these days. All she ever wanted to be was a stay at home mom. Now, with her getting laid off and all, she can be a stay at home mom.

"Yeah, it's me." I run a quick hand through my already messy hair and sigh. I walk in to the living room and pop a squat next to her. She crosses her legs, puts down the romance novel she was reading, and turns her attention to me. She looks at me with sheer delight in her eyes. My mom and I have always had a special kind of bond. She understands me better than anyone in this house. Ever since I was little, we've just had this special, unspoken connection. She reaches her hand out and touches my cheek with a soft little smile of adoration.

"How was your first day back at work? I'm sorry we didn't have the chance to talk earlier." She takes her hand away from my face, folds it within her other hand and sits back and listens attentively to what I have to say. "Kevy said something about the park being under new management these days…is that true?" That's probably the only thing about my mom that I don't like. To her, we are never just Kevin, Joe, Nick and Franklin. She always, always, _always _adds an extra syllable to our names. To her, Kevin is "Kevy", I am "Joey", Nick is "Nicky", and Frank is "Frankie."

"Yeah, some family owns it now. I think they're the De La Garzas." I decide to leave out the parts where I argued with Emily. My mom was a really big fan of me and Em's relationship when we were dating. She loved Emily just as much as she loves Kevin's fiancé, and she was devastated when we broke up. "But I had met their daughters. The new owner's daughters, I met them. They're both really pretty and really nice girls. The one doesn't work there, though. The older one doesn't work there but the younger one sings there. She's the park's singer. She's really cute, but…" I know my mom can't diagnose Demi without talking to her in person, but my mom has a master's degree in psychology with an associate's in sociology. She might be able to tell me what's wrong with her. "Her name's Demi, and she's my age. But mom, she's like… really… childlike. Her brain is that of an elementary schooler's. You think something's wrong with her?" Ever since my mom got laid off, she hasn't really examined anyone since then, so I'm going out on a limb by asking.

"I don't know, Joey. Maybe she does have something wrong with her brain. She could have an emotional disorder. Or she could be perfectly normal, just stuck in a childish phase. I can't tell you for sure. Maybe you need to ask her." She uses her index finger to move her dark brown bangs out of her face. "So what else? Is that it? How are your old friends? Paige? Emily? Gregory? Michael?"

"They're all good. Paige is still a sweep. Em runs the bumper cars. Greggy's still at the dunk tank and Mike's at the wheel. It's all the same, honestly. Just instead of bands doing open gigs, Demi sings the entire day. That's really the only difference that I can tell. It's still the same old, same old." I open my mouth involuntarily and a yawn comes out. I've had a long day. It doesn't surprise me that I'm actually very tired. "I'm sleepy, mom."

"Alright honey." She stands up and closes her bathrobe around her nightgown. "I don't want to keep you up, go on and go to sleep. You work tomorrow, right? 12-7?" She grabs my arm and helps me up as if my legs are broken or something. I'm fine. "Go get some rest, baby. I'll cook you a good brunch before you leave tomorrow morning." She wraps her arms around me and rests her chin on my shoulder to give me a good hug. "Love you Joey. I'll see you in the morning."

* * *

**2023.**

"So at your next day of work, did you ask Demi?" Liz's face lights up with wide-eyed wonder. I'm glad I've got her so interested. Now she won't rush me to speed up to the interesting parts. She's curious to know about Demi, and the more I think about her, the more I can understand why. Demi was very interesting. The way she thought about things, the way she looked at life. If only I could find her. If only I knew if she still thinks that way. I like to think that she grew up. I like to think that she's not the same anymore, that she found someone that loved her the way she needed to be loved. She had the babies she always wanted to have. And somehow, she still maintained that carefree, altruistic but unrealistic view she had on life. She was the most interesting person I've ever known. I wish I could find her. I wonder if she's forgotten about me.

"I did not ask Demi the next day. I did talk to her, though. And I learned more about her." It's crazy how I can remember our conversations just like they happened today. It's crazy how much I remember about her, even though it's been fifteen years since the last time I've seen her. "As you can imagine, she was a very interesting girl to have a conversation with." I decide to skip over the tedious details of how I got ready for work that morning very meticulously. I was careful to dress myself with class and cleanliness, just in case I had the opportunity to see Dallas again. But I skip all that.

* * *

**2008.**

"Hey, Jimmyboy." Demi frolics over to my game booths in a pleasantly peaceful mood. Her cheerful spirits are a very nice change from Emily's constant bitchy stuff. She almost skips to me, her flowy white shirt bobbing up and down with her little movements. Again, she's dressed like a toddler. Her skirt falls a little below her knees in bright, clean white ruffles. Her shirt is bright pink with purple and white flowers all over it, with a plunging neckline. Her hair is in a half-up, half-down style and she really looks like she models for Baby GAP. I think she's on her lunch break, because there's no background music playing in the park and she has a pink and yellow lunchbox in tow. "Long time no talk, what's up?"

"It's JOE. J-O-E. Not Jim." I stuff an orange basketball underneath the booth in one of the little cubbies and lean across the booth to talk to her. "Lunch break? Whatcha eatin good?" I ask when she opens up her lunch box, standing on my tip toes to see what's inside. While talking to her, I have to constantly remind myself that I can't talk grown around her. I'm not sure if she'd understand me if I spoke like a grown up to her. I have to take my mentality down to a first grade one. "Anything delicious?"

She shakes her head and smiles. "No…" She pulls out three little Tupperware containers from her lunch box. "Just apples and peanut butter, tuna salad and crackers, a cookie and some orange juice." She jumps up and sits on the corner of my booth. "I would do anything for some cheese fries or a corn dog. They smell so good." She blushes. Her cheeks turn light red. "Ooh, or one of those pink frosted cupcakes they sell over at the sweets stand. I had one of those once… it was SO good."

"…Then why don't you just go get one? The sweets stand is only towards the back of the park…"

"My mom doesn't like me to have that." She sighs and scoops some peanut butter on one of her red apples. She shoves it in her mouth and talks to me while she chews it. "She says that all my sweets can come from fruits 'cause it's much better to have natural sugar than actual sugar." She swallows her apple. "Cheese fries have too much melted cheese and salt, and corn dogs have too much grease. Not allowed to have any of those things except for on holidays or something. My mom would kill me." She scoops more peanut butter on another apple and shoves it in her mouth again.

She's clearly anorexic, bulimic or both. And her mom condones it? What kind of people does she come from? "Oh… that sucks." I try to sound sympathetic towards her, but honestly, I don't know what it's like to be forbidden to have something that I really want. I've never had restrictions before. "Can't you slip up? While you're here, I mean. How would she know if you had something fattening while you're here?" She silently offers me an apple and some peanut butter. I take one single apple and that's it. "It's just a little bit of sweets, isn't it?"

"…She'd know." She eats the last apple and scrapes up the last morsel of peanut butter and closes her container. "So I wanted to apologize for last night." She grabs her next container and opens it up. It's the tuna salad. "I kind of got the feeling that you were a tad bit annoyed by me, and I'm sorry. It actually happens a lot. …Dallas says that some people just don't know how to deal with me, because they've never met anyone like me, and that it's not your fault. So I'm sorry. I'll tone it down a little." She giggles softly.

"…You didn't annoy me, Demi. I just…" I jump up and sit on the booth next to her. "Dallas is right. I've never met anyone quite like you. You just seem really… happy-go-lucky. It's not annoying… it's puzzling." I admit to her. I wasn't really annoyed by her. I was just frustrated about how I couldn't really understand how she could possibly be this…happy. "It's just an act though, so I get it now. You could act serious if you wanted to. You acted serious last night."

"It's not an act." She wipes the remains of tuna salad from the corner of her mouth. "I'm not a little baby, but it's not an act. I can… be serious, be like a grown up. But the way I see it, it's easier to be this way. I know the world isn't all unicorns and rainbows, Joe. Believe me… I KNOW. It's just… easier. Life's better this way. You can't just limit yourself to the bad parts of this world, you know? I like to think of myself as an optimist. You know, when you're little…things like this don't just happen to you. When you're little… the only thing you have to worry about is what color band aid to put on a boo boo. When you're little, anything's possible."

"…What kind of things don't happen?" She lost me a little.

"…Nothing, Joe." She closes her container and takes out one, single, Fig Newton cookie. "So you're eighteen… have any idea where you're going to school at?"

"Yeah, I'm going to Texas A&M this fall. Where are you going?"

"…College isn't really for me, you know? I'd rather just… chill."

"Well… yeah. College isn't for everyone, I guess."

She smiles at me. "I want to move to California, eventually. I don't think that could ever happen, but I'd love to. They have Disneyland over there. I've been to Disneyworld but never Disneyland. I really want to go there someday. And move where the weather never, ever gets cold. I want to go where the sun always shines. You gonna stay here in Texas for the rest of your life?" I just nod the answer to that. Where else is there for me to go? I like Texas. It's home. Of course, she cracks a joke. "Oh well BOO. We'll never be able to get married then. You want to stay here in this boring state. I want to go to California. How are we ever supposed to get married now?" She laughs a little. "No, I'm joking. I saw you with the black haired girl yesterday."

"That's just Emily." I shrug. "But Demi, if you want to move to California someday, you can make that happen."

"…That's not possible."

"Aren't you the one that said that anything's possible?"

"…Yeah. But…"

"So it's possible that you can move to California, isn't it?"

"No. It's not possible."

"…What makes you change your mind then?"

Her face is very serious. "There are some things you don't understand, Joe." But she cracks that goofy, unserious smile again. "Maybe I'll tell you later, Jim Jim."

I nod. "Will do, Delilah."


	4. Sorry I'm Late

**2008.**

I lean against the front counter of my booth and drum my fingers along the prickly green and black carpeted surface of it. The first few days of park season are always really boring for me. Everyone's usually too busy getting on the rides and eating up all the food to worry about playing games and winning stuffed animals. I give it until next week; that's when I'll probably start getting more customers. Don't get me wrong, I really love running the game booths because I basically get paid to stand around and do nothing all day, but it does get pretty boring when I'm not busy. I dig in my back pocket and grab my phone to check the time. It's 4:45. I haven't had a customer since 3:15. I just have to make it until 7:00. It should be my break time, actually. What's up with that? I shove my phone back in my pocket and start picking at single strands of the carpet. It could stand to be replaced. It's all sticky and dirty.

When I'm this bored, I usually find my own things to do to pass the time. Today, I think I'll attempt to count all the strands of fiber in this carpet. I use my thumb and index finger to weed out strand by strand while I keep count in my head. So far, I've worked two seven hour shifts. I have a four hour shift tomorrow and three hour one on Sunday because we close early on Sundays. My first paycheck better be very good for all this time I've been putting into this damn job. When I'm on strand number 172, a loud thump breaks my concentration as something is thrown down on my counter. I look up suddenly. "Hey, look alive!" Dallas opens the gate to my booth and comes behind the counter. She bends down and grabs a dark blue money holder and ties it around her waist. I thought she didn't work here…

"I thought you didn't work here." I look at what she dropped down on my counter. Nothing but a sketchpad, some charcoals and an eraser. I'm curious to know if she's any good at drawing. She was drawing yesterday night when I first met her, too. She must like to do it. I put my hand on the outside cover of the sketchpad and flip it open. "That's what you told me last night, isn't it?" I flip through her drawings. It seems like she mostly draws animals, I notice as I flip through the pages filled with sea lions, snow leopards, Bengal tigers, bull frogs and the most realistic ducks I've ever seen. She's very, very good. "These are pretty good. What are you, an art major?" I keep flipping through it, deeper into the pages and find an unfinished drawing of a flamingo. She must be working on the flamingo.

"No, not exactly; it's just a hobby." She pulls my stool over to the counter and sits down on it. "I love animals…" She puts her hand on her sketchpad and gently pulls it away from me. I let it go without hesitation. She flips to the unfinished flamingo, grabs the dullest piece of charcoal and starts sketching away. "I'm in my second year of veterinary medical school." I watch her hand glide across the paper lightly and she's so talented at what she does. "And I don't work here, by the way." She puts the charcoal down just as she finishes the beak and looks at me. "I don't get paid to be here, I just help out where I'm needed. I came to relieve you. My dad said you can go on break now, so…"

"Oh, alright." I bend down and reach underneath the counter and into my cubby for my wallet. I'm not hungry, so I'll probably just get a bottle of water or something. "…So you want to be a vet. What made you decide that?" I ask her before I head off to the nearest concession stand. She picks up her charcoal again and smiles while looking down.

"I just really love animals…all kinds of animals. I used to drag dead birds in the house and try to nurse them back to health. My mom would spank me because I'd bring stray cats in all the time. I stole a puppy once, because my neighbors weren't treating it right. I guess the only logical thing to do would be to go be a vet, right? That way I won't get in trouble for trying to help out animals. I could get paid for it." She has one of the prettiest voices I've ever heard. It's very low in tone, kind of hoarse, but it still maintains that feminine ring to it. She talks so quietly that I think if she yelled, her voice would only match the tone of mine. "So what about you? Are you going off to college this fall? You just graduated, didn't you? Demi said you're her age."

"Yeah, I did. I'm going to Texas A&M this fall." I continue to watch her draw. She's just adding in little details to make it really, really look like a live flamingo. Speaking of Demi… "Demi just graduated too? Where'd she go to school at? I know my class was pretty big, but I think I'd remember if I graduated with her. I don't think I did…"

"I graduated from Providence High, last year. Demi was homeschooled through middle and high school. My mom and dad pulled her out at the end of fifth grade because she started missing too much school. That bull crap school stopped accepting her excuses and her unlawful absences started piling up. She couldn't help the days she had to miss, so rather than continue to pay truancy fines from the school, they pulled her out."

"Oh…" I want to ask why, but I really don't want to seem nosy so I'll leave it at that. I'm guessing maybe she's had an eating disorder for a really long time now? Maybe she got so sick with it that she had to miss school a lot? I don't know, I'm just speculating at the moment. I could be totally wrong. "So uh… where's she going to college?"

"Demi's not going to college." The tone of Dallas's voice suggests that there's a real reason behind Demi not attending college. Like maybe she can't. "My mom doesn't want her to start something she can't finish, you know? Demi won't finish college, and then my mom and dad will be up to their ears in student loans to pay off. So she's just not…not allowed to go, basically." She bends down and reaches in her purse for her charcoal sharpener. "She'll probably just be a singer or something for the rest of her life."

"Oh. She just told me that she wanted to move to California someday, so I just… I thought… I didn't know she wasn't allowed to go to college." I scratch the back of my head and back pedal towards the gate to exit my booth. I'd better start my break soon. I only get twenty minutes after all. "Yeah, I'll just… see you around or something." I bury my hands deep in my pants pockets. "Don't wanna waste my entire twenty minutes." I open the exit gate to my booths and step out. She looks up at me and gives me a gesture with her hand; a silent indication of her saying "bye."

I walk with my hands in my pockets back towards the south end of the park so I can punch out properly. Maybe I'll eat a corndog or something on my break. My mom gets mad at me whenever I go too long without eating, so to save face, I guess I'll grab a little bit of something. Luckily, my brother, Kevin used his own money and bought a treadmill for the basement in our house, so if I eat anything too fattening I could just work it all off. I'll probably just get some deep fried Oreos since I haven't had those in a while and they only come in fours. When I reach the time clock, I fish my name badge out of my wallet and slide it on the side of the clock like a credit card. It accepts my punch, and I turn around to change my direction. One of these days on my break, I'm going to go further into the south end of the park. I've never been in the south end. Dream Land is actually a very large park, and the entire time I've worked here, I've been sheltered to the north end of it.

I toss my badge and my wallet back into my pocket and start walking towards the only booth in the north end of the park that sells deep fried Oreos. The worker, Charlie, takes one look at me and puts his "closed" sign up. We always do this to each other. It's sort of an ongoing joke between us. "C'mon, Char. I only got a couple minutes to do what I need to do." I lean against the booth and tap my fingers. Charlie gives me a playful nudge and takes his "closed" sign away. "Gimme four of those Oreos and a lemonade."

"A please wouldn't kill you, now would it Joey boy?" He grabs a boat of Oreos that were sitting under a warmer and sprinkles powdered sugar over them. "What size drink you want, man?"

"Let me get a large, PLEASE." I say, emphasis on the please. I hand him a five dollar bill from my wallet. With my employee discount, I know it'll only come to about two bucks and some change, but he can keep the change and put it in his tip jar. I really wouldn't mind paying full price for some of the food here, but it is nice to get a discount. Charlie slides the lemonade across the counter to me and I take a long, much needed sip. "Keep the change. I'll see you later." I put my Oreos in one hand and the lemonade in the other and head back towards my booths. I guess I'll see what Delilah's doing, if she can talk to me at the minute. I notice that she takes frequent breaks to get a drink, but I guess I understand why. She sings all day, after all.

I take a bite of one of the Oreos and keep my head up while walking. The park seems really crowded today and I wonder why. I don't think it's a theme day yet. Maybe it's just a busy day today because I honestly can't think of a reason for it to be so damn busy. I side-step the bench and walk straight to the stage. It must be my lucky day or something, because Delilah is sitting at the edge of the stage taking a long drink of apple juice. I guess she doesn't drink anything that's not a fruit juice. No Gatorade, no sodas, nothing. I guess apple juice is better than orange juice though. She smiles softly at me before I even fully approach her. I catch her give me a slight wave.

"Hey there, Delilah." I hop up on the stage next to her. "Taking a break?" I finish off the already bitten Oreo and take another sip of my lemonade. She smiles and screws the cap back onto her container of apple juice. I do think that sometimes she's a little bit too happy and bubbly, but it's a really nice change. She's always in a good mood and I think that's nice. She always has a playful look on her face, as if nobody's ever put her in a bad mood and if somebody had, she's not going to take it out on me.

"My throat got dry." Her eyes wander down to my Oreos. I notice her wrinkle her eyebrow and gaze at them with eyes full of wonder. "What are those?" I find it hard to believe that her folks own this park and she's never had a deep fried Oreo. "Some kind of… mini pancakes?"

"They're Oreos. Deep fried. They're really good, want one?"

She shakes her head. "No thanks." She starts swinging her feet. "So I see you over there talking to Dallas… she's pretty neat, huh? With the drawings and stuff…" I watch as she takes her hands from her lap and rests them on the edge of the stage, her chipped black-painted fingernails digging into the newly painted wood. Black seems a little…off for her. She's usually really bright and pink. Why are her fingernails black, of all colors? I decide not to draw attention to it, though. "She taught herself, you know. To draw, I mean. She taught herself. She never had drawing classes or anything."

"Really?" I take a bite out of another Oreo. "Well we were mostly talking about you." Her head snaps up and she looks at me as if I just startled her. Her brow wrinkles again and I chortle with Oreo still in my mouth. I swallow the heaping mouthful of chocolate-y goodness and smile. "Relax, chick. She was just telling me how you can't go to college. It's not that big of a deal, really. Some people just don't want to go, I guess. College isn't for everyone." The wrinkles in her eyebrows subside, but she takes a really deep breath. She doesn't seem like herself at the moment… what's wrong with her? I sure hope I didn't make her upset. "Hey… I'm sorry. I won't ask your sister anymore questions unless you tell me it's okay, alright? I'm sorry…"

"You didn't do anything." She picks her head up and drums her fingers along the wood. "It's not that I don't wanna go to college… I do wanna go. I would wanna be like… one of those people that try to like… help other people with their problems." She cracks a smile that quickly fades. "But I can't go. It's kind of like the Disneyland thing. On my bucket list, but probably won't ever happen."

"Why can't you go to college, though? Aren't there scholarships out there for homeschooled people?"

"There's a lot more that goes into it besides money, Joe." I watch her entire demeanor change. "There's a lot of things you probably don't understand… And that's not your fault, I suppose. College just isn't one of my top priorities, I guess. Wanna leave it at that?"

"I guess." I shrug my shoulders. "No offense, but you say that to me a lot. Whenever I ask you a question you just don't feel like answering. You just tell me that there's a lot I don't understand… why don't you tell me the real answer? I know I'm basically a stranger, but I don't judge…" I put my hand on the stage too and slowly creep it over. I pile it on top of hers. She smiles like she enjoys it, which lets me know that she's feeling that same little electric spark I feel when our fingers touch. Just as quickly as I pile my fingers on top of hers though, she swipes her hand away from mine. "You alright?"

"I'm fine. I just… need a lot of time to explain to you… the things you don't understand." She folds her hands in her lap. "A lot more than a couple minutes on break, that is."

"…So why don't you tell me some other time?"

"Like when?"

"…Tonight? I'll pick you up at eight? We could just come back here and talk…"

She smiles at me, and for a minute, I really think we're making a connection. I'm wrong, though. "No thanks. I'm just gonna… stay at home for the night. Read a book or something." She sighs.

"…Why not?" I'm a little bit disappointed. I was really hoping that she would say yes. I just want to talk to her more and get to know her better. She interests me… I just want to know more about her. "I could pick you up at your house around eight, and we can both just come back here and get to know each other… maybe ride some rides or something. What's wrong with that?"

"…I'm sorry, Joe. I just…" She actually looks at me, dead in my eyes. "I don't think it's the right time for me to be… going on dates with anyone at the moment. I really like you, but you know… in the "friend" sort of way. I just don't want to disappoint you… "

"I like you too, Demi. As a friend, I mean. Friends can go on dates with each other. I go on dates with Emily all the time as friends. I just want to get to know you more… so let me take you out, as friends. We can keep everything on a 'need-to-know' basis. Live a little, Demi."

"…As friends?"

"As friends."

"…Okay. I'll just meet you here at eight, okay? To make things easier…" She stands up and looks like she's genuinely happy. "And Joe?... Maybe I'll take one of those Oreo things. Just a half though." I chuckle and break off a half of an Oreo. I hand it to her and she eats it slowly, like she's cherishing every single moment she has with it. There's a lot of things about her that I'm curious to know about. She seems like a very private person, and I honestly respect that. I just hope that tonight, I can break through her shell just a little bit. She already made it clear to me that she doesn't want a boyfriend, and I wonder why. Regardless, I'm just excited to talk to her some more. Maybe she'll tell me about her eating disorder or something. I'm just hoping, though.

* * *

**2023.**

"So you really didn't have anything to do with Emily… Demi ended up being your girlfriend…" Elisabeth puts pieces of the puzzle together and finally understands that I wasn't lying to her when I said that Em wasn't my girlfriend. "But she told you that she didn't want a boyfriend. What made her change her mind?" I honestly don't know how to answer that. I'm not exactly sure what changed Demi's mind about me back then. Thinking back at it, I never really thought I would build a relationship with the little singer that sang at the park. At the time, I was probably more interested in just getting to know the mystery of her, not being her boyfriend. I'm a much wiser man now than I was then, but deep within myself, I know that I wouldn't be smooth enough to pull off the relationship I had with Demi again. I guess that's what made the relationship functional. The innocence of it all and the thought that it would never end. I still think that was the best part of knowing someone like her.

"I don't know exactly what changed her mind." I glance down at my watch and figure that I have about one half hour left of story time. I think when I get done here, I'm going to visit Demi. It's been about thirteen years since I've visited her; I'm well overdue. I still remember where she lives. I clear my throat. "Since she asked me to meet her there, I showed up to the park at about eight on the dot… and I guess she was late, because we had agreed to meet at the stage and when I got there, she wasn't there yet. I started to think that maybe she had stood me up, because she didn't really want to hang out with me anyway… but…"

* * *

**2008.**

I pace back and forth along the wooden stage slowly, trying to make it seem like I'm NOT waiting for someone. It's almost 8:15 and she's not here yet. Maybe she decided not to come after all. I know she didn't really want to come in the first place, but I find it just a little bit hard to believe that she would stand me up. Em thought she would, and so did Paige. I spent like twenty minutes trying to convince them that they were wrong and that Demi would show up tonight. I'd hate to go back and have to tell them that they were right after all. I take another quick glance down at my phone. It's 8:14. I'll wait here until 8:20 and if she doesn't show up by then, I'll go on home and listen to Emily and Paige boast their "I told you so's" tomorrow when I come to work. I tap my foot rhythmically along to the music that's playing over the speakers and hum the words to the tune. _"'Cause she's bittersweet, she knocks me off my feet. And I can't help myself, I don't want anyone else. She's a mystery, she's too much for me but I keep comin' back for more. She's just the girl I'm lookin' for."_

"Hey! I'm so sorry… I'm really late…" Finally, I hear her voice coming from behind me. I turn around fast and face her. Her bouncy hair falls in thick spiral curls around her chest and she shares a bright smile with me. I can't help but smile back at her. "It took a while for me to get someone to bring me here, and I had to eat dinner and all that stuff. I'm just glad you didn't leave." She tugs at the ends of her clothes to adjust them. She looks very different from what she usually looks like. She's wearing a peach and white shirt with quarter-length sleeves and a pair of plain blue jean shorts. She looks really pretty all of a sudden. "You didn't think that I was standing you up, did you?"

"No." I shake my head and offer her my hand. She looks at it briefly and just shrugs it off. Maybe holding hands is too much for her. I tone it down a little. "So um… you look really nice." I bury my hands in my blue jean shorts pockets and drum my fingers along my legs. Her smile suggests she means "thank you." We both begin to walk off in the direction towards the south end of the park. I cough lightly, like I always too when I'm trying to start a conversation out of nowhere. "So do you want to ride something?"

"Uh… sure." She looks down as she walks and watches her tiny feet take one step at a time. "But how are we going to talk and get to know each other if we're busy on a ride?" She picks her head up and looks at me. "Isn't that what we came here for?"

"Well… yeah." I nod. "We can just talk if you want to." I shrug my shoulders and walk a little closer to her. It's funny how there's at least twelve dozen people around us at the moment, but in this moment, I feel like it's just me and her. The park lights shine down on her hair and I can tell that it's really silky and soft. I cough one more time. "So um… you're not wearing pink tonight. That's a cool change…" I know that's the stupidest conversation starter, but that's really all I've got. She giggles softly and nods.

"Good save." She winks at me. "Pink isn't really my favorite color. I tend to like yellows and purples more." I notice her voice switch from soft to upbeat. She's just as awkward at carrying conversations as I am. "So what's your favorite color?" I think she's letting her guard down to me a little, because she pulls her hand from her side and offers it to me. "…Just as friends, okay?"

"Just as friends." I agree and take her hand in mine.


	5. Tomorrow

**2008.**

"Since you're not going to college…. What do you plan on doing for the rest of your life?" I ask Demi, her hand snugly nestled inside of mine. I'm really glad we decided to come out and get to know each other. We've been walking around the park, riding rides here and there, but mostly just talking. So far, I learned that her birthday is five days after mine in August, her middle name is Devonne and she really likes koala bears. "Of course, college isn't for everyone. So if you aren't going to go, then what are you gonna do? Marry some rich guy that'll take care of you?" I pull off a piece of cotton candy and hand it to her. I feel her hand clench inside mine and her long hair tickles my lower arm. It's too soon to tell, but I think I might like Demi. I know I promised her that this is all strictly friendly, but I don't know how much I mean that anymore. It's still too early for me to know any of this for sure though.

"Yep." She giggles and sucks on the small piece of pink cotton candy. She starts to chew it, which I find strange. "I don't really think about what's going to happen ten…fifteen years from now. I don't even like to think about where I'm going to be in five years. It's just…. Not really important to me. I like to live one day at a time." She glances up at me for a brief moment, and I catch her eyes. Her eyes are big and very round. They're a deep, molasses colored brown and her eyelashes are really thick. Her eyebrows are really neat and thin. She sighs, "I wish I could go to college though. It's one of my dreams…" Her lips twist and purse themselves into a hard line. "Guess I'm just glad to have graduated high school, though. At least that's one thing that they don't take away from me." By "they", I assume she means her parents. Is she being punished for something? What a cruel punishment, honestly. I've never heard of parents taking away education as a punishment.

I offer her another small piece of cotton candy, and she puts her hands out to refuse it. Throughout the entire time we've been getting to know each other, we've both been asking questions as they come to our minds. So, needless to say, I can't help but ask this one. "If you want cotton candy, you should eat cotton candy. I get that eating disorders can be pretty emotional, though. My brother's girlfriend used to have one. She had hers for years before she got some help for it. How long have you had yours?" I use my thumb to stroke her knuckles. "I don't really think you need to lose weight though. I think you're perfect…ly proportionate."

Her mouth turns up into a smile as she utters a deep, sincere laugh. "…I don't have an eating disorder. I just have to watch what I eat." She shakes her head and looks down at the ground as we continue to walk further into the southern end of the park. "I don't have an eating disorder… I just eat healthy. I don't starve myself… count calories or make myself throw up. I kind of have to eat healthy… it's one of the rules." She licks her lips and sighs again. "I can definitely understand why you'd think that, though. Just… don't jump to anymore conclusions, partner."

"Well, you leave me no choice but to guess. You don't really tell me much, other than the basics. I know your favorite color, your favorite animal, your middle name and your hobbies. I know all those things, but I don't really… know _you. _I don't know your hopes and dreams. I don't know… who you really are, Demi. Sorry for assuming, though."

"It's fine. I understand." She nods firmly and looks up at me. I catch a glimpse of her bright, gleaming white smile that fades just as quickly as it appears. "It's just… a lot of things about me… you wouldn't understand. I can spend all this time trying to explain these things to you, but I… I just really hate disappointing people, Joe. M…Maybe I'll tell you some other time. But until then…can we just… leave it at that? Please?" She looks back down and swiftly weasels her hand out of mine. "I just want to be your friend…"

"You are my friend, Demi… aren't you?" I put my hand against my blue jeans and wipe it off. It feels so weird to have my hand without hers inside it. "Friends can hold each other's hands, can't they? And friends tell friends their secrets. I just want to know about you. I guess you could say that I'm curious… but I can't make you say anything you don't want to say to me. So yeah, we can just leave it at that…"

"It's just that… you seem like a really nice guy…" With her eyes still locked down on the ground, she reaches up and pulls a loose strand out of her hair. "With a really good heart and really good intentions." She stuffs her hands into her back pockets and sighs. "I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if I ever hurt you. So I won't give you any reason to falsely hope. …We can be friends, minus the hand holding."

"Okay." I just agree with her, for the sake of saving myself anymore wonder. I can't stop the nagging in the back of my mind, though. What is her deal? What is her problem? Why does Demi act like the possibility of being liked scares her? And most importantly, why does she automatically assume that whatever she does is going to disappoint me? "So uh… what's your favorite book? You said that you really like to read and stuff… you have any favorites?" I can't help but notice that we've stopped walking. We're standing; standing in the middle of the walkway and everyone else around us just seems to disappear. I've never felt quite like this before.

She gives me a smile that lights up the entire scenery. "Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie; that's definitely one of my favorites. I don't know, I just… love the whole concept of… never growing up until you feel like it. I just love that… Peter Pan's there… and nothing bad ever happens to those kids." The smile on her face rapidly fades away. "…It's a little late. I have to go home now… my mom will be mad if I'm late…" She looks down at the purple watch on her wrist and combs her teeth along her bottom lip. "I was supposed to be home an hour ago…"

"Oh… oh, well I'm sorry for keeping you so long. Uh… do you… do you want a lift back home? I have my car with me." I rummage around through my pockets to find my car keys. Something tells me that when she gets into trouble with her parents, it's never a good thing. When I go home tonight, I'm going to look through my mom's big book of disorders. I don't really know much, but I think Demi's showing the signs of child abuse. Back when my mom used to see patients at the house, she treated this teenage boy named Ronnie. He acted much like Demi does. "I could have you home in no time… so you won't get into too much trouble."

"...Please?"

"No problem, come on."

* * *

"I'll see you later, Demi." I press my foot firmly down on the brake and stop in front of the address she gave me. I try not to be judgmental, but it's definitely not what I was expecting from Demi. The house is small. It's white with dark blue shutters and a porch made from wood that is deteriorating. There's a matching white garage next to the house, but the roof is caving in and the bright red truck is parked outside next to it anyway. I didn't expect the place to be so rundown. The porch light is on, probably waiting for her. "…You wanna… maybe go out to lunch tomorrow? Or breakfast? …Just as friends?" I throw the "just as friends" part in there just to ensure that she says yes.

"Uh….." Her face looks uneasy, like she's scared. "No." I can't think of a reason why she'd say no. The park is being shut down tomorrow for maintenance work on all the rides. It's our annual inspection. She doesn't have to sing tomorrow and I don't have to work. Why is she saying no? "Tomorrow's not good I have… somewhere to be… from 10-4. Um… after four isn't good either… because I'll be really sick… so no." She puts her hand on the handle of the door. "…Maybe we can hang out some other time. Tomorrow just isn't good for me."

"…What about after you go home and lie down? You can't possibly know that you're already going to be sick, Demi. If you don't want to hang out, you can just say so. I won't be angry with you. But you don't have to lie. You can't know that you're going to be sick come… eight o'clock tomorrow night."

"….I _do _know that, though. I'm always sick after I do what I have to do tomorrow. And it's not that I don't want to hang out with you, because I do. I really do. Tonight was… tonight was the most fun I've had in years. I really, really had fun with you. I just… don't really know when I'll have time to ever… you know. I just have a lot on my plate; more than I've had on my plate… ever. Um… ma…maybe we could do something tomorrow. No eating… no walking around. It'll have to be after seven, because…. Yeah." I notice that she won't look at me, no matter what. She just won't look at me.

"How about a movie tomorrow night? I'll see what's playing down at the drive in, if that's okay with you."

"…I've never been to a drive in…"

"Good. I'll take you tomorrow then. I'll come pick you up around… 7:30?"

"Yeah, that'll be good. Do you um… have a number? So I can call you or something, just in case tomorrow really isn't good? I'll have to ask and stuff, and if I start what I have to do any later than 11:00 tomorrow morning, I'll be really late and really sick and… I won't be much fun if I'm sick, trust me. So do you have a number? That I can contact you at?"

"…Start what you have to do? What is it, Demi? If it makes you sick, you shouldn't have to do it… and… can't you just make sure that you start exactly at 10:00?" I dig my phone out of my pocket.

"…You wouldn't understand. I… I HAVE to do it." She looks out the window. "…I really wish I didn't sometimes, but…" She licks her lips. "I can ask to be started at ten, but sometimes they don't start me until 10:30ish…"

"…Are 'they' your parents?"

"No." She shakes her head. "Just… give me your number. I'll call you tomorrow and let you know if I can go or not. I have to go inside now… I have to. My mom has to do a lot of things to get me ready for tomorrow and I have to be in bed soon and if I'm any later than I am already, my mom's gonna spank me."

"…Do your parents always spank you?"

"NO. Enough with the questions, I have to go!" She opens the door and steps out.

"Wait, Demi…" I lean over and hold her door open so she can't close it. She stops in her tracks and just stares at me. "…Will you ever tell me your secret? It's clear that you're not telling me something. Will you ever tell me what it is? Just so I can understand you better?"

"…I guess." She turns quickly to leave.

"WHEN?!" I yell after her.

"….Tomorrow… maybe. I don't know… goodnight!"

* * *

**2023.**

"I don't know much babe… but it doesn't sound like Demi's parents abused her." Liz stops me once more in the middle of my story. She's turning a thirty minute story into a half hour ordeal. "Do you ever find out what's wrong with Demi? …If you just tell me, I won't ask any more questions. What's the matter with her? Do you find out soon?"

"Patience is a virtue, babe."

"Will you tell me soon?"

"…Yes."

"Okay."

* * *

**2008.**

I twist my fork around in the mound of spaghetti my mom put on my plate and just listen to her as she catches me up on everything I missed today. I really hate when my mom waits up for me. It doesn't matter what time I come in the house, she's always waiting. "So Frankie's basketball team won today and they're going to the playoffs. His first playoff game is next weekend, and I'd really like for you to try and be there, baby." She puts a tall glass of Sprite next to me and rubs my back. "You got a call from Texas A&M today, too. They just wanted to know when you planned on coming to tour the campus, so you'll have to take off work someday next week so that daddy and I can get you down there." She uses her finger and strokes my sideburn. "So what about you? How did your date with that girl go tonight?"

"It wasn't a date, mom. It was just… a friendly outing." I eat another forkful of spaghetti. My mom's spaghetti is the best; you haven't lived if you haven't tried it. "And it went okay. I'm taking her to the drive-in theater tomorrow night, cause she's never been to one before." Just thinking about it, something inside the pit of my stomach just makes me smile. I can't wait to be with her tomorrow, and not just because she's going to tell me her secret. "I can't really tell just yet, but I think I might like her. She's really pretty and she's actually funny. She… she makes me feel like a kid again, ma. Is that weird?"

"No baby, that's not weird." She pulls out a chair and sits across from me. "But this is the time in your life where you're discovering a person you might possibly want to spend the rest of your life with. I know… I know it's too soon for you to be talking about marriage, but you also need to be thinking about serious relationships or no relationships at all. You're about to go off to college and you know how that is. You don't need any meaningless distractions. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that… if you decide to get serious with her, can you let me meet her?"

"Yeah, of course. But I honestly don't think me and Demi will get past the friend stage. She's… different." I can tell by the look on my mom's face that she wants me to explain. "I don't think Demi wants to get married. She's not going to college, she doesn't want to have children… she's just really… childish. I think I have a crush on her, but that's really all it is. It's just a crush."

"She's not going to college?"

"No…"

"To college?"

"Yeah, college. She's not going. I think it's some weird punishment from her parents. She says that they don't abuse her, but I beg to differ. She always talks about them with a little bit of fear. They're making her do something tomorrow that makes her sick, and they won't let her go to college. Not that she doesn't want to go, they really don't allow her to go."

"That's not right… it's college."

"I know." I push my plate away and drink the last little bit of my Sprite. "I'm tired, ma. I'm gonna go take a shower and go on to bed. I don't work tomorrow, so I can sleep in." I push my chair out and stand up. I would wash my own dishes, but my mom will wash them anyway, so I decide against it. "Goodnight, ma. Love you."

"I love you too, Joey." She picks up my plate and my empty cup and takes them over to the sink to wash them. I turn and start to walk off in the direction of the steps. "Hey, Joe… wait one second. Come back." I turn back around and go back to the kitchen. She looks at me with sincerity in her eyes. "…Sometimes, kids who are abused by their parents just want to feel like someone listens. So even if you're not gonna be more than that girl's friend, that's all she needs sometimes. I'm proud of you and your brothers, you know that?"

"Yes ma'am." I did know that. My mom never fails to let me know how proud of me she is. "Night, mom." I just out of the kitchen. Maybe she's right. Maybe all Demi needs is someone to be her friend. I'm her friend, aren't I?

Even though she claims that her parents don't abuse her, I find that hard to believe. All the evidence points to that and only that. She's on some kind of weird diet, and she gets yelled at if she eats any junk food. They won't let her go to college. They make her do things that make her sick. She even said that her mom would spank her if she was any later. She definitely gets abused by her parents. Maybe not physically, but emotionally. Plus, I'm beginning to think that the whole "I don't want to grow up" thing is just an act. She seems pretty grown up to me, after speaking with her for a while. She's grown enough to know what she wants and doesn't want. Demi really, really makes me wonder.

I can't wait for tomorrow now. I can't wait to see her. But just a little more than I can't wait to see her, I can't wait to find out what she's hiding. I can already make some inferences and draw some conclusions from the behavior she exhibits, but I can't wait to really find out the truth.

And for that reason, I desperately can't wait for tomorrow.


End file.
